I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
