It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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