is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
