Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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