if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Holy sore nipples Batman
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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