Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
