this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
