my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
