Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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