does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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