He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
