Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
