so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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