today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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