I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
