Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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