Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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