3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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