Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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