Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
