She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
