If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
