the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize