He is such a slut. More and more my type.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
