her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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