Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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