Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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