We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
