yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
