Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
