Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
