Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
