sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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