Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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