I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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