I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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