Apparently you make a good broom.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
and she was petting her beer can
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
