Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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