Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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