You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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