Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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