His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
