Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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