If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it hurts more in the daytime
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
