how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
