Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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