Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize