Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
