Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I've blown a few things in my day
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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