youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
