"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
