I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize