oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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