Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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