I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize