she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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